by Gretchen Rubin
(chosen by Fairlie)
I read Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project blog before it became a book and often found aspects of her experience worthwhile in thinking about my own life. So when the book was published, I pre-ordered a copy and read it straightaway when it arrived. I found it a really useful means to pull all the information from the blog together. The structure of the book provided more focus to my thinking about the concept of happiness and how to add more of it to one's life. I made it my bookclub choice for this year, as I knew we had never done a book in this genre before and thought there would be an interesting discussion surrounding the issues the book raises.
About the author:
Gretchen Rubin is a graduate of Yale and Yale Law School. Rubin started her career in law, and she was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she really wanted to be a writer. Her published works include: Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill and Forty Ways to Look at JFK, Power Money Fame Sex: A User’s Guide and Profane Waste, (a collaboration with artist Dana Hoey). She was raised in Kansas City, and now lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.The Happiness Project is "an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier". On her blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness.
(general biographical detail from the author's website)
What the publisher says about the book:
Award-winning author Gretchen Rubin is back with a bang, with The Happiness Project. The author of the bestselling 40 Ways to Look at Winston Churchill has produced a work that is “a cross between the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love.” (Sonya Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want) In the vein of Julie and Julia, The Happiness Project describes one person’s year-long attempt to discover what leads to true contentment. Drawing at once on cutting-edge science, classical philosophy, and real-world applicability, Rubin has written an engaging, eminently relatable chronicle of transformation.
Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realized. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project. In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference.
What we discussed about the book:
- Our own definitions of happiness: "A feeling of contentment", "Someone to love, something to look forward to, something to do", "love+family", "A state of mind where positive thoughts outweigh negative thoughts", "A feeling of peace within one's soul", "Life's destination", "A state of contentment, ability to feel great".
- Is the pursuit of happiness a selfish concept? Or a worthy goal?
- The role of balance in a life to create happiness - can you be happy with a huge emphasis on one or other aspect of your life: work/health/family/spirit/friends/community/intellect?
- St. Therese of Lisieux - why was she Rubin's spiritual master? What is a spiritual master?
- Who are our spiritual masters?
- Which quotations in the book resonated most strongly with us? "The days are long but the years are short", "It's easy to be heavy; it's hard to be light".
- Rubin accepts she has 'snappy' tendencies - did we find her to be particularly so?
- Did we want to do any of the resolutions?
- Rubin observed that "Outer order contributes to inner calm". Is this a universal rule, or does it only apply to certain types of people/personalities?
- The concept that charitable giving makes you wealthier, rather than the wealthier being more charitable.
- Control/order/choices - in what ways do these concepts contribute to personal happiness?
- What did we enjoy doing as 10 year olds? How do those activities feature in our lives today?
- Was this a 'self-help' book?
And then we were sidetracked into:
- Could Oprah be a spiritual master?
- The concept of happiness fog in relation to children
- Writing life plans - the idea of starting with your own obituary and working backwards from that - what do you want to be said about you, and what are you doing to make that a reality?
- Why was"the pursuit of happiness" included in the US Declaration of Independence?
- The idea of automatically saying "yes" rather than "no" to children - and framing the rest of the sentence to actually communicate what you want to say: i.e "Yes, you can have a cupcake, just as soon as you finish all the vegetables" vs "No, you can't have a cupcake, you haven't finished your vegetables." Is this effective?
- What would a 3rd world definition of happiness look like?
- Can you be happy in isolation, or does happiness require social bonds?
- Is it possible to consciously decide to be happy and make it happen?
- Do low expectations (parental, one's own, society's) make it easier to be happy?
In other news we discussed:
- Our delight at the newest addition to the No.1 Melbourne Ladies' Bookclub family - congratulations KE!
Ratings:
Range: 5 to 9.5
Average: 7.42
Next book: Fly Away Peter by David Malouf (chosen by Gypsy)
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